It is autumn and the trees have turned a combination of yellow ochre and rust as we walk through the park in Sweden. Here we pass a group of older people doing their Nordic walking and enjoying the vast array of mature trees as they wander through the maze of paths in the grounds of a horticultural college. Looking to the right there are another group of elders in the park dressed in all weather gear limbering up to a new day with their walking poles and sensible footwear with a fitness leader, using their walking poles to limber to the left and the right. All enjoying their fitness in the autumn of life.
Before we left the UK last week I was struck by a media story of a mother wishing to protect her 6 year old from the covid induced ‘premature’ death of an elderly 98 year old relative of whom she was very fond. The 98 year lived in a care home and contracted coronavirus. Part of the tragedy of this story for me was the lost opportunity of using this sad loss as a springboard to build in resilience and discuss nature and the cycle of life as part of a conversation.
Human beings have a limited time on this planet, and however much we can add years to life with our success in preventing infant mortality, childhood fatal illness and improved hygiene as a society has numbed us to conversations that have been part of the cultural diaspora. It is only recently we have been faced with our own mortality on a mass scale, and the effects of those dying on the population whatever our age. Our customary ‘cover up stories, anti-ageing products and age denial, at some stage, (no better time than now), needs to be challenged.
The D word, as a normal part of life’s cycle is important to bring out into the open and everyday parlance, particularly with children’s education in mind as it is part of our life course.
I have been staying with my Swedish toddler and 4-year-old grandsons. The eldest is asking about a dead ladybird, and so it starts…. the everyday conversations which are opportunities to introduce the subject in ways they can understand. It could of course, be something more emotive such as a sick pet rabbit or beloved family pet.
We have a 10-year-old Labrador. He is much loved by all. It is a good way of starting the conversation about the subject as he starts to show signs of wearing out, including his occasional arthritic joints. Even Labradors don’t live forever and are not exempt from wear and tear, death and dying. It is the grief of those left behind as the attachment to the person or pet over time is so painful. Understanding this process and supporting those living through this is a way human neighbourliness can step up and ensure people are able to talk about this subject without people walking on the other side of the road.
Our spiritual beliefs and understanding of a good life and death, bereavement and supporting those left behind all need to be talked about. It helps us all to accept death being part of life and how things can come along and snatch life before its time or just speed up what is waiting in the wings.